dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
