Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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