Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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