i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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