we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
