Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Randomize
