dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
