its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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