I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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