No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
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We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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