did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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