just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
