idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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