I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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