lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
