Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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