hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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