I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
