I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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