So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...