I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
