dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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