I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
