Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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