Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
