Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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