After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
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Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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