Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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