My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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