Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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