"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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