I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
