he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
