I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Randomize
