Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
