i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
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Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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