My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
