well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
