yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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