this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
