my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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