I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
