I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize