it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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