I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
