i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
