tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
