I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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