ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My pussy is not your playground.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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