you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
