Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
