It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
