omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize