Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
