If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
In America we eat man semen.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
