Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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