I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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