shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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