Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
