this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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