I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
