"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
