am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
