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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  This theraflu would make for a great margarita.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  I can make a sudafedarita

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• (518): View more from New York

  we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  And if not?

  (937): View more from Ohio

  ...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.

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• (949): View more from California

  The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...

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