Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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