Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
