This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
