do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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