so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize