Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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