There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
