we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
