I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
