Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
