STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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