that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
