Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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